Yo estoy aquí, donde siempre, intentando destruir los recuerdos que pegaste en mi corazón, intentando olvidar la forma de tus lunares, pisando tus pies. Exagerando tus manos, así estoy, intentando borrarte de donde realmente perteneces, intentando quitarte algo que siempre fue tuyo.
Estoy llorando sobre lo que destruí, sobre lo que yo misma descompuse, estoy a kilómetros de la ciudad buscando tu señal, reviviendo esos sueños que ahora me parecen tan antiguos, tan tuyos, que casi me siento intrusa por puro reproche...
Estoy igual que antes, negándome a aceptar que te quise mas de lo debido, mas de lo que estoy acostumbrada a querer. Casi como al comienzo, antes de las advertencias, y entonces me odio un poco, por pisar tus cristales, descalza. Por dejarte ahí, sin señas, ni renuncias, sin piedad. Pero te odio más a ti, por no volver, por dejarme ir, así lunática, desabrida, por dejarme huir a los brazos de otro.
Es imposible, ¿como puedes creer que seas un poco más de lo mismo?, ¿como puedes, si quiera pensar que no significas (te) nada?. Por eso guardo hoy, con orgullo tu recuerdo, tus cajetillas, tus zapatos, tu cariño, tus miedos, en un baúl, para recordar que no solo yo fui egoísta.
79 comentarios:
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